The Gent Code | Charismatic Gent



Personal Magnetism

Bold Confidence

Alluring Conversations

Attract, Don’t Pursue

Ultimately, Character Determines Who
You Are & Your True Success In Life

Sadly, The Art Of Being A Man Has Been
A Dying Art Over The Last Few Decades.

Yes, being a male is a matter of birth & the naive may even
say that being a man is simply a matter of age. Not so.

Being A Man, A Gentleman Is A Decision -
A Way Of Life. It’s A Matter Of Choice.

It’s how you show up in the world - confident, calm & charismatic.
A force for good to yourself & others. A male with strength,
courage & respect as his core qualities.

The list of Gentleman Codes below are a set of guidelines. A
basic set of core principles dedicate to those males who want
to become that genuine, authentic MAN - a real GENTLEMAN.

Men who want to set themselves apart.

Take it upon yourself to be that MAN. You’ll be the one other men aspire to be like,
whether they admit it or not. You’ll be what every woman has longed for
(because she rarely encounters a guy who's a real GENTLEMAN).

Being A Man, A Gentleman In The Modern
Era Isn’t Just Different, It’s The Exception.

The Man In The Arena

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt


Always Take The Initiative

The Charismatic Gent Would Never Ask, Nor Say,
“I Don’t Know, Where Do You Want To Eat?"

Those nine words (& others like it - you know the ones) are the kiss of death in any relationship.

Women want a man who can take care of them in one way or another (even the strongest, most independent women). They want a man who has the balls to make a decision - & stick to it. 

Women want a man who has a strong character of strength & one who is comfortable & capable of being in life’s driver’s seat – so that they don’t have to. This is confidence.

Confidence is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs in the known universe to seduce a woman. It's instant, uncontrollable attraction.

Taking the initiative shows confidence.

Be the man who senses & has the balls to act upon whatever the right thing to do is in that moment - decide where to eat, decide what to do, take her dog for a walk in the freezing cold… 

Be the man who knows what he wants - & unapologetically goes after it. 

Be the man who tells her early that he’s not looking for a relationship. 

Be the man that lets her know where the relationship is going - not the other way around.

Be a man of action and the scales tip in your favour.

I can’t tell you how many times something as simple as taking a woman’s hand & leading her out of the room gives her butterfly’s & makes her knees weak (go ahead, try it).

Or my clients telling their date where they’re going (& has already made reservations for), what to wear, & what time they’ll pick her up. Women are so turned on at this BECAUSE NO GUY DOES IT.

Comfort or courage? You can't choose both.

Taking the initiative displays confidence - a trait women crave & an attraction switch they can't turn off. 

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Men, take the initiative because, well… it’s just the man’s job. Ask for the date; go in for the kiss, tell her where you’re taking her for dinner. Risk rejection & looking foolish, because it’s worth it - & you're the man. 
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Be a man of action. Motivation will follow - not the other way around. Do – don’t ask, for what you want. Fix a problem before being asked to fix it. Take bold steps & know that you're man enough to deal with your actions. The bolder the move, (i.e. the greater the risk), the greater the reward.


Detail Oriented

Simple Rule: People Pay Attention To People
Who Are Paying Attention To Them

The ONLY way to be exceptional is to be a great observer. This applies to ALL areas of life.

I can predict with total accuracy your success in life, with people, with women... by your ability to observe & your sense of awareness to what's going on around you.

Also known as "situational awareness."

Said another way... Your ability to detect, break down, & interpret whichever situation you’re in – in that moment. Think James Bond or Jason Bourne:

"I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the ... and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking."

So how do you train yourself to be like an international spy? 

Be detail oriented yourself.

Start by "paying attention to the details" - in YOUR life.

Paying attention to the details in your life is the gateway into establishing & developing your situational awareness.

Paying attention to the details in one area of your life inherently forces you to observe & be observant in other areas of your, and other’s lives.

It becomes a habit - a part of who you are. And habits are either there or not there – learned or unlearned. We’re not programmed to just turn them on and off.

How you do anything is how you do everything. 

How you do the dishes is how you do (or don't do) your work at the office. Everything’s connected. Be hyper-aware, slow down, be present & pay very close attention to everything in your life (& especially others).

Study, like really study the art & science of making a great cup of coffee or mixing a cocktail. 

People will notice.

It’ll ALWAYS put you one step ahead & in control of near any situation - & ALWAYS give you something to talk about (i.e. make good first impressions & never run out of things to say).

People pay attention to people who are paying attention to them.

Power shifts in your favour.

It all starts with "paying attention to the details."

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Guys, women spend hours on the details (hair, nails, accessories, etc.)because the details matter to them. 
Think about that, let it sink in. Observe.
Guys who are trying to attract women, you HAVE to grasp this concept. 
Smell good, get clothes that fit (100% iron those clothes), & always wear clean, like new shoes. Women notice these details both consciously & unconsciously. 
Being detail oriented in yourself, you'll be 80% ahead of most guys. The scales tip in your favour.

“You’re always either growing power or reinforcing your lack of power.”
- Stephen Sideroff


Doing The Right Things vs.
Doing Things Right

Always Ask, “What’s The Right Thing
To Do In This Situation?"

Sometimes it may mean looking foolish or feeling uncomfortable, but if it’s the right thing to do, do it. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but it’ll save you a ton of headaches, internal resentment, & beating around the bush in the future (people, & internal self will respect you more for this).

This question & thought process positions you as a confidant, man of action & man of integrity.

Effectiveness vs efficiency. It’s working smarter, not harder. It’s focusing your efforts on tasks with high ROI vs doing things for the sake of doing & killing time.

​All you ever have to do is the next right thing. If you don’t know, go with your gut (because your gut will tell you - all you've got to do is listen to it).

Like dancing with your little niece in front of a crowd - when you don't know how to dance. Why? Because it's just the right thing to do. 

And will this suck sometimes? Will you get a kick in the nuts every now & again? Be embarrassed? Absolutely. But have peace of mind that whatever you did, you did it because “it was the right thing to do (at that time).” 

A word of caution... Be hyper aware of what feels right vs. what's actually right. How do you know? If you do something & afterwards you feel guilt, shame, etc., then something's out of alignment. Dig within to find out what. 

Own this principle & your life will be vastly easier.

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Just meet a girl that you like & she wants a relationship & you want a fling? Tell her (something that 90%+ of guys won’t do for fear of losing her). She may not like it, but she’ll respect you more for telling her (& ironically, be more attracted to you).
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Stop for someone crossing the street. Hold the door open for a complete stranger. Help someone in need. And do all this without attachment or expecting anything in return. Why? Because it’s just the right thing to do.


On Dating

Set The Expectations

Unfortunately, “the art of being a man is a dying art” in the modern era. Women have a near uncontrollable longing for these “real men” - & it’s getting harder and harder for them to find one.

Men are losing their primal male traits that women yearn for.

Supply in the 21st century is dwindling while demand is high. Any guy who taps into this female need has the unfair advantage.

Guys, the expectations of your relationship together are set before, during & after the first date. It’s here where you set the tone for who you are & what’s to come. It’s here where you show her your strength of male character (or lack of).

And since you’re the man, it’s your duty to set these expectations (re-read Code #1 - Taking the Initiative).

It's here where you show her that you're congruent with the guy that got her interested enough to go on a date with you. It's here where she see's if you're a man consistent in his actions & congruent with his words (translation - trustworthy of a potential long term relationship). 

Before a date, tell your woman where you’re going (or just surprise her too), tell her what to wear, & what time you’ll pick her up. Women are so turned on at this BECAUSE NO GUY DOES IT.

Always, always, always dress to impress. A woman puts hours into how she dresses for a date. It’s a total lack of respect (& turnoff) if you just show up in your regular t-shirt & jeans, not showered or taken the time to groom yourself that extra bit (respect her & your time together).

If you’re at a crowded place, take her your woman’s hand & lead her out of the room. Set the expectation that you'll take care of her (& follow through).

Be a man who always has a plan, follows through on that plan, & has a plan B for when things don’t go as planned (because shit happens). If one place is busy, already have another in mind.

Men, take the initiative because, well… it’s just the man’s job.

Remember, “Door-to-Door” service. That is, it’s your duty as a man to take her door-to-door, from beginning to end, to ensure her safety. You pick her up at her door, you drop her off at her door, & you open all doors for her...

And men, pay on the first date. Just do it.

All from a place of respect – not kissing ass & expecting something in return.

Keep in mind too that she’s also setting the expectations of your relationship together. If she doesn’t at least offer to split the bill (by at least the 2nd date) & is along for the ride, thank her & move on. Whatever the bill, it’s going to be vastly cheaper than the frustration, abuse & a divorce down the road.

A man of value doesn't need women &/or people in his life who disrespects him.

Remember, setting the expectations goes both ways - but it starts with you.

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Make reservations beforehand where possible. Always have a plan & always put thought into that plan. 
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Remember, “Door-to-Door” service. That is, it’s your duty as a man to take her door-to-door, from beginning to end, to ensure her safety. You pick her up at her door, you drop her off at her door, & you open all doors for her... All from a place of respect – not kissing ass & expecting something in return.

“I don’t want to meet my maker & don’t want him to have to explain the gifts, hopes & dreams he has for me. I don’t want to look at him & tell him I was too scared. I tried my best to use every one of them. I gave it all my best that I had. I was all in.”
- ??


On Sex

It's Not What You Do, It's How You Do It

Know that amazing sex starts far beyond the bedroom.

Men, own your sexuality – especially in bed. Don’t be ashamed of your own sexual desires & never apologize for them.

Know how to build sexual tension - & not only when you want sex. Remember, in a woman’s world, EVERYTHING’S CONNECTED. Tell her aside from the bedroom that she’s sexy. Tell her you can’t wait to see her naked later.

For a woman to truly open up sexually, to really let go – physically, mentally & spiritually, TRUST is key & CONNECTION is essential. She has to feel safe.

It’s not what you do with her or the position you’re in, it’s how you do it.

Demonstrate & recognize – through your actions, that making love is neither a race nor a competition. Understand that the process, the chemistry of sensation between a man & a woman, is the goal – not the climax (you’re welcome ladies).

To unleash your full masculinity, she has to feel your presence in the moment. Sex merely isn’t sex. Slow is key. Go slower than you’ve ever gone before. Saviour every second & every inch of her body. Appreciate the beauty that it is.

Pull her hair one moment, then passionately kiss her the next.

As a man, you have to bring out her inner desires – don’t wait for them & don’t ask. Unapologetically assert the position – no matter what it is. Most women won’t tell you what they want (despite you asking). Listen carefully, watch for cues, feel for sensations, read between the lines.

A woman FEELS EVERYTHING. Pay intense attention to her sensations & she’ll be begging for more.

(And remember, when a woman says no, she means no. I truly wish that I didn't have to mention this, but feel I must.)

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: You’ve got to be strong enough to pick a woman up – both physically and mentally. Whatever you do, do it with confidence - from a position of strength & a take charge attitude.
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Mix things up every now & again. Be predictably unpredictable. Women get bored fast - variety is key to excitement & great sex.



Make Her Life Beautiful & Your Life Will Be Beautiful.

Women perceive men through the emotions that they feel for them – in that moment.

Remember, in a woman’s world, EVERYTHING’S CONNECTED & she FEELS EVERYTHING. Some moments 1+1 = 2, & other moments, 1+1 = 5, 6.398, -2,… It can/will be random & unpredictable. Not easy & you must respect them for the strength to endure.

Picture "The Matrix." This is a woman’s realm & what she has to deal with every second of every day - non-stop whirring of complex neural networks.

A man’s world is direct, linear math. Neatly organized 1’s & 0’s where 1+1=2.

Internalize this & you’ve cracked the code – the ‘red pill’ that’ll give you insight into what makes "The Matrix" tick - why women are different than us men & why there’s sometimes a ‘disconnect’ between us & them. 

Take their emotions as an opportunity to learn about them and to create a stronger connection between you and her. 

Dig in. Don't fix. Don't run away or shut down. Be present. Seek to understand. 

Or, if you’re happy with just the way things are, go with the ‘blue pill’ & continue along your way.

The choice is always yours.

Women simply want to feel taken care of, appreciated, and know that you're there for her. When she complains, it’s a request for change – because she feels that you’re not taking care of her &/or appreciate her. Go in, find it.

Take the time & effort to understand her "Love Language" (Google it). Most guys try to speak Chinese to their woman when she’s German. This creates a total disconnect. Speak her language & she’s yours.

Always take the initiative (re-read Code #1 again). If she has to ask you where this relationship is going or to take out the garbage, you’ve lost. This is the beginning of the end. Be a man, be the leader.

Respect her always. Always open her door & always lend a helping hand (from a position of strength). Fix things before she asks you to fix them. Never stop bringing her flowers & doing the small things for her (via her Love Language). And never, ever compare her to others.

Enjoy her for the beautiful creature that she is. Support her in all that she wants to do & let her inner beauty blossom.

Make her life beautiful & your life will be beautiful. Understand & internalize this concept to the deepest level of your being. Take it like you take the sun coming up every day - if she’s miserable, you’re miserable. Period.

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: A man of value has choices & know that at any moment he has a choice. The choice to make her life beautiful & the choice to upset her. The choice to leave or the choice to stay. And if you choose to be with her, BE with her & let her know that you're with her because YOU choose to be with her. 
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: A Charismatic Gent understands that the dating never stops. He know the key to a successful, long-term relationship is to always treat his woman like he treated her on their first few dates.

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone,
you have already forgotten your value.”

- Unknown


Respect Yourself

A Man Of Value Negotiates His Time &
Worth With Every Choice He Makes

Respect yourself - because no one else will.

Always be well groomed & expect yourself to be the best dressed guy in the room.

Always keep your bathroom, bedroom & car clean. A dirty bathroom or bedroom = a lack of respect for self. Anyone who respects themselves wouldn’t live in filth - nor put up with it.

Respect yourself & people will respect you (the opposite is also true).

It’s a compound effect.

Respect yourself & your self worth can’t help but rise.

Respect yourself & the worth of those around you will rise.

Respect yourself & you’ll naturally attract a better quality of people, women, & opportunities into your life.

Everything you do, have, behaviour, action, habit, thought, etc. is a reflection of you and the amount of respect you have for yourself.

What you’ve got, who you are, and what you’ve surrounded yourself with is all a reflection of the choices you’ve made up to this moment.

Shitty job? Not getting paid enough? Bad relationship? No relationship? Too scared to talk to that girl?

Hey, you negotiated for this (or rather didn’t).

You let someone else - including your other self, negotiate your own time & worth for you.

(Note: The person with the most negotiating power is the person who is willing to walk away.)

At any single moment, you’re setting the expectations for yourself and for the others around you.

Want other’s to respect you? Respect yourself.

You set the bar. You set the standards.

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Muster the courage to go after whatever it is that you want - unapologetically. Be who you say you are and do what you say you're going to do.
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Want a classier woman? Be a classier gentleman. It's that easy.


Respect Others

Leave People Better Than
When You Met Them

One simple rule... leave others better than when you met them.

That's it. 

But it all starts with you. 

How you show up is half the battle. How you show up sets the stage for the interaction.

Respect goes both ways and good, positive energy is essential.

Don't judge. Judgement closes people down.

Don’t compare. Comparing is a no win situation - a moving target. Comparing creates a perpetual “I’m better than” or “I’m not as good as” state of being. 

Someone’s self worth has to take a hit.

No one is better, no one is worse. It just is. Don't hold on. Accept what is… and move on.

Trust more in what people do, not in what they say. 

Show interest. Seek curiosity in them. What makes them tick, why do they do what they do, and what gets them out of bed in the morning. Put yourself in their shoes and seek to understand.

Honour them for who they are and admire them for what they’ve accomplished. We all have stories we’re proud of. It’s your job to uncover and bring them to surface.

Be present. Physically, mentally, emotionally, be there. Shut up and pay attention to the details. Cultivate the patience to read between the lines.

The most charismatic people are the ones that are the most present.

Make someone’s day from a place of genuine sincerity. Sometimes, this’ll mean not doing anything at all.

Whatever the situation, always leave others better than when you met them.

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Always walk on the outside of a gal. Always open the door for her & others - without exception (all without attachment or expecting anything in return).
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: In any interaction with someone, go for the heart & not the head (i.e. aim for emotions & feelings vs facts & figures). Interest inspires respect. 

“No fear, no distractions.
The ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide.”
- Tyler Durden


Self-Talk Is Everything

Internalize This: "You Don’t Get What You Want
In Life, You Get What You Focus On."

Leverage. Bang for buck. This is the one. It's the lead domino. The magic key which unlocks the safe only the fortunate few have access to.

If you want to talk to that cute girl, but your internal conversation (i.e. focus) is trash talking about you getting rejected, guess what your odds are for success? Little to none.

That voice in your head loves beating you into submission?

She (& everyone else around you) can smell your fear & anxiety. 

We don’t get what we WANT in life, we get what we FOCUS on. If we got what we want in life, we’d all be super rich, popular people with perfect bodies. Everyone wants this, but their focus is on watching Netflix, settling for their mediocre job & eating pizza.

Your brain is a computer. Your internal words (each & every one) are the programming language.

There's a certain freedom gained from realizing that we are not our thoughts.

Garbage in = Garbage out. That’s why learning how to focus your attention on the positive outcome you want rather than the negative you don't want is critical for success (i.e. work towards rather than run away from).

Master self-talk, master your life. A high value person doesn't talk trash about himself. He focuses on winning & accepts losses as opportunities to learn. 

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Listen to your internal dialogue – each & every word. Change the conversation with yourself. Take careful note of where your focus is – on the positives or negatives.
Work towards what you want as opposed to running away from what you don't want. Same situation, yet a total shift in mindset.


Own Your Reality

Gentlemen Know How To Control Their Emotions &
Temper. Confidence Comes From Control…

There are two types of people - Those that are passive & those that are active. The passive ones are pussies (& a woman doesn’t need another). The active ones are the ones that make life happen & the ones that women are uncontrollably attracted to.

These are the guys that plan ahead, are prepared, know what they want & go after it. They’re not sitting on couch & watching TV because they have a bigger purpose & passion in life than themselves. They know what they want - & go after it.

A man doesn’t bitch & complain on Facebook. He doesn’t bitch & complain about others. He plays the hand dealt to him - & does it with confidence.

A man owns his reality. 

Calm, cool, collective. Attractive, manly men are men who don’t sway when emotions run high (think James Bond).

Yes, they have emotions, but they don't let emotions rule them. 

Practice being vulnerable - daily.

Every single moment, every situation, you have a choice. Understand too that things like forgiveness are a choice, not a feeling.

Realize that emotions stem from your feminine side (which is ok, but there’s a time & place to be emotional). And a woman is already in her feminine, emotional & looking for a pillar of support (whether conscious or non-conscious). 

Neediness, whining, anger, insecurity… not appealing (remember, she already has a vagina & doesn't need another).

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Recognize & let this sink in… At the end of the day, what does it really matter? What does it really f**ckin’ matter? Observe these emotions that arise in you, but let them go. Don't feed them & don't fight them.
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Practice being present & in the moment. My promise… It’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Continuously train your brain to cultivate silence.

You're Defined By Who You Are.
Not What You Do, Or Have.


On Being A Man

When You’re Dead, No One Really Cares About Your
Tattoos, Money You Spent On Your Home, How Fast
Your Car Was, Or How Much Shit You Own…

They care about how you made them feel.

“He was a _____ man. He always made people feel _____. (fill in the blanks for yourself).

At the end of the day, what matters is how you leave people & how you make people around you feel.

This is determined by your character.

And your character is your reputation – your humour, sense of adventure, compassion for others, self-assurance, perseverance, being awesome at something that matters, doing something that you love...

Don't look for shortcuts. There are no shortcuts in anything worth doing. Create solutions instead of applying tricks & hiding secrets.

A man admits when he's wrong or when he doesn't know. 

People are looking for others they can trust.

Take time to laugh & realize that money can't buy true happiness. 

(Bonus points: Have a purpose & passion bigger than yourself.)

THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Go out of your way to help someone today – without expecting anything in return. Treat people how you’d like to be treated – regardless of how they treat you.
THE CHARISMATIC GENT: Take careful note of how you show up in the world… Because how you show up in the world is what you leave behind.
And always, always, always, leave someone better than how you found them. 

"You’re more powerful than you think you are.
Act accordingly."

- Seth Godin

Be A Man. Be A Gentleman

Gentlemen Will Always Be Admired & Respected...
By Others & To Themselves.

It's a mindset. A way of life.

A gentleman is something that anyone can choose to become.

The choice is yours...

“Everything will be okay in the end.
If it's not okay, it's not the end.”
- John Lennon

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